“At least he’s not suffering anymore.”

It’s probably one of the most frequently heard—and most delicate—phrases. Even if it’s meant to be reassuring, it can be perceived as a denial of the current grief. For loved ones, the issue isn’t past suffering, but the present absence.

The best option is a simple and genuine phrase, such as “I’m thinking of you very much” or “I’m here if you need me.”

“Everything happens for a reason.”

This idea may seem soothing on paper, but in a moment of grief, it can provoke misunderstanding or anger. It sometimes gives the impression that the sorrow should be accepted immediately, without discussion or emotion.

The preferred option is: “I don’t have the words, but I’m by your side.”

“I know how you feel.”

Even if you have personally experienced a difficult situation, every relationship is unique, and so is every feeling. Comparing experiences, even unconsciously, can give the impression that the other person’s pain is being placed on a scale.

The best approach is to listen, nod, let the other person express themselves at their own pace… or simply remain silent.