Keeping a scarf, a sweater, a notebook… why not? But sleeping with the other person’s used sheets or using their underwear (even if it’s been washed) is another story.
Why avoid these items?
They retain a physical trace of the deceased. For some, this can be comforting… but for others, it creates an attachment that is difficult to overcome. If these objects evoke sadness or insomnia, it could be a sign that it’s time to let go of them.
Biological remains: hair, teeth, nails.
In the past, a hair medallion or a baby tooth were kept as a childhood memento. But in the context of mourning, these objects can have a completely different meaning.
Why might this be disturbing?
These physical “remains” hold great symbolic power. They can maintain a very tangible link with the deceased, sometimes making emotional separation difficult. Not to mention the potential distress for other family members.
So what can we preserve?
